In India, once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, Jain, Sikh or Christian?” He said, “A Hindu”
I said, “Me, too! Brahman, Kshatriya, Vaishya or Shudra?” He said, “Brahman.” I said, “Me, too! Which region of India?” He said, “North.” I said, “Me, too! Which Gotra?”
He said, “Atri” I said, “Me, too! ? Which Veda? Rigveda, Yajurveda, Samveda or Atharv veda? ” He said, “Yajurveda.”
I said, “Me, too! Madhyayani branch or Madhuri branch?” He said, “Madhyayani”
I said “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
With sincere apologies to Emo philips